As I am writing this post, I am wondering if it will send the message I want to communicate. I was supposed to post something else but I felt it was inadequate (it will probably be shared in the near future), so I decided to write about inadequacy. It happens to me all the time, before I write a post, before I suggest an idea or even before I go to do something, that feeling keeps lingering around, the feeling of inadequacy.
Is this good enough? Is this the best? How will it be received? What if I am wrong? What if it fails? I am doing the right thing? What if nobody likes it? What if nobody reads? These and many other questions usually flow in my mind every time I am about to do something.
This feeling stopped me from doing so many things, because I felt they were not perfect or correct or not at the right time or just not adequate. So many ideas died because of this feeling. I was waiting for it to disappear. I was waiting for the day when I woke up and I felt adequate or good enough. I was waiting for the perfect time with the perfect idea, skills and perfect me. But IT NEVER CAME.. that feeling was always there, every single day I woke up and it was there. Some days it was strong, others it wasn’t but I still felt inadequate.
The perfect time never arrived, the perfect idea 😒😒😒 well! I am stilling looking for it. There was never a perfect me with the perfect skills. Every time I wanted to do something it was never perfect, never adequate… that feeling, inadequate is still here. I have it every Friday and Monday as I am posting here, I have it at work and in so many things I do.
But I have decided that I will not listen to it, I will just do what I am supposed to do. I will strive to be the best version of myself every day but not wait for the perfect me. Every Friday and Monday, I post here even though I am not sure if it is perfect (actually I do not care if it is perfect). I am no longer chasing perfection, I have decided to move on with life even with that feeling of inadequacy.
Yes, it is here but NO I won’t let it stop me anymore cause there will never be a perfect time, perfect idea or even perfect me with perfect skills. So I am just going to do my best today, improve tomorrow and work on that way, until maybe just maybe someday in the future I will feel adequate (just maybe).
So, don’t overthink, if you are feeling inadequate just know you will probably feel that way every day. Instead try, try and try, do you best and work to improve yourself because perfection will never arrive (either way you will never attain perfection by waiting, it is attained by trying over and over again – practice makes perfect so they say). Start where you are, with what you have and work from there on, take baby steps and one day you will fly, and know that Christ already made you worthy, everything else will make sense on the way as you are moving.
Have you ever felt inadequate to do something/ what did you do?